Hello you guys! Things have happened! I have cried in front of my personal adviser because I thought I was going to fail a module, then I continued crying as I realised that haha, no, I just lost about 5 marks. And I met trf_chan  in London, with m'Alex! We saw Les Mis, and I was convinced that there was a new Enjolras, but there was not, APPARENTLY (I still think there was a new guy). It was lovely! We went to an Italian restaurant where the waiters were freaky and offered to feed Chelsea. Also, the music was awful like an awful thing. Then later that week I saw Noel Fielding in Soho (AGAIN!) and he was still well fit, though he had bleached his hair! And then I bought lots of things, including interrail tickets, and then I realised that I am sort of broke. I need to sort that out, and I need to sort out my last essay so it actually makes sense, at the moment it's just a massive bunch of sentences that make up the required word count but don't make an argument in any way. I had a Shakespeare exam, where I compared Iago to a prawn. And I'm going on a date! This week! With my gentlewoman caller! AND trf_chan AND I AND SOME GINGER GIRL ARE GOING TO SEE QI BEING RECORDED OMSF OMSF OH MY STEPHEN FRY.

You know what I love? When you have a sort of "AAAAAHHH NO"reaction to something, and then someone comes along who articulates the issue better than you ever could. Heard of Stephanie Grace, the racist Harvard emailer? Quote from Jill from Feministe that made me go "Yes, THAT'S IT!":

"Stephanie Grace sent out an email suggesting that black people are genetically intellectually inferior to white people. That is not a new point; it is not a point that should have to be rationally debated anymore, any more than we would rationally debate whether or not the Earth is flat. If a PhD candidate in a science program suggested that the sun revolved around the Earth, I can just about guarantee that there would be no calls for rational debate on the issue — whoever she said it to would roll their eyes and label her a complete jackass. If she sent out an email screed about it, it would probably be forwarded for laughs and for shared outrage at how a person this ridiculous could have gotten into this academic program and institution. It would not be defended under the pretense of free speech or academic freedom or 'Isn’t this program all about rational scientific discourse, you guys?'"

AHHH.

The rest of the article can be found here.

To be completely honest, I was a bit sick of literary theory, drama rehearsals, even the history of music hall. I was sick of doing things because otherwise I would fail my module and not because I wanted to do them Right now, I'm writing for Reading Theory and Interpretation, my least favourite module, mostly because it has NO COHERENCY AT ALL. "Let's talk about Robinson Crusoe using Freud, or Beauvoir!" Which, of course, could be interesting and relevant, but history and literature are so closely linked that in an introduction to literary theory, you might want to, you know, follow the course of history. Anyway, I'm writing a 3000 word essay with a very vague assignment telling me to chose between two theories I disagree with written by two men I hate. I have tried to start it for weeks. And then I did, and I just made my own literary theory, on the relationship between reader, author and text. More on that later. Suck it, Barthes. Anything you can do I can do better. THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!

The contents of my bed: 1599 by James Shapiro, a Canon EOS 450D, an unopened bottle of vodka, 350 NOK and change, £20, a phone, three USB cables, a notebook, The Norton Shakespeare, a boardgame, two empty bottles of Chinese beer, party decoration, my ipod, two duvets, three pillows, my macbook, American Gods by Neil Gaiman, two necklaces and a bit of candy. And I haven't even hosted a party!

Today I played tennis with my dad. My hand hurts, I ripped some skin off a blister, and I lost spectacularly. And as I was playing, I realised that I was actually sweating coffee. I kid you not. Kind of like when you're hungover and your pee smells like wine. (TMI? Never.)

I'm struggling with my stupid essay about Freud and dead authors and things. I just don't care. I just want to go back to London, and be bored there. Maybe I'll buy the pretty girl some flowers to apologise for sending her drunken texts and then losing my phone. Carnations? Maybe that's a lapel flower. Oh, did I tell you I got a dress and a jacket made in Beijing? Green. Very green, like Irish grass, or the rest of my wardrobe. I like green.

Next in MY INCREDIBLY EXCITING LIFE: mum and I are buying a stereo for my dad, I'm hosting a party on Saturday, I'm trying to plan some stuff for when citoyenne  and self go interrailing and I'm going to a flea marked. Woo!

I'm back from Beijing, and I forgot to post about it. I've been in Oslo for about a week now, getting nothing done except complaining about the weather and going to parties. I'm suffering from student holiday guilt, and it gets so much worse because I can't work when I'm at home. I try, but it just doesn't happen. To allow me to procrastinate for a bit longer, here is a Beijing picspam.



Forbidden city. The weather was crap at first.
( More pics )



AND THEN SPRING HAPPENED AND IT WAS LOVELY

Oh, hello! I've been a very good girl and have finished all my essays, and my final performance. I've made some new friends from drama. I've acquired a new, what to call her, frequent sleepover guest? Which apparently I brag about when drunk. Hurrah for pretty girls! (I'm just mentioning this as an excuse to use this icon.) It's spring in London, but not in Norway, where I am at the moment. Tomorrow I'm leaving for Beijing, I'm going to be a tourist with my parents. Oh China, I love you. I lost my phone, my dignity and my shoes in a mate's room last night, and I missed my flight back to Norway this morning and had to buy a new ticket. The view from the bus going from Gatwick to Heathrow is quite lovely. Now I'm going to get the required forty winks for the first time in at least three weeks.

Woah, I haven't posted here in ages. I just dropped in to tell you that I'm obsessed with Criminal Minds and in love with Spencer Reid. Not only is MGG the prettiest man since Callum Keith Rennie, Reid takes his coffee the same way I do and he knows everything. Three guesses which Harry Potter character I fancied when I was a kid? Know it alls are sexy.

This post was brought to you by: the hours of sleep I got last night is inversely proportional to the number of Criminal Minds episodes in a season.

Since my last post, I have:

Met Noel Fielding! In Beyond Retro.
Him: "Do you work here?"
Me: "Er... No? Oh, hello!" (handshake)
Him: "Nice hat!" and some other things but I won't bore you with the details of his amazing hair and amazing coat and utter loveliness. <3

Been to Venice! With citoyenne and Linda, two of my favourite people in all the world. We couldn't afford to do any of the proper Carnevale stuff, but we had fun! Venice (or Venezia, actually) is the most beautiful city I've ever been to. Expensive and full of tourists, yes, but it's like travelling back in time to the 1700s. Lovely. And the hot chocolate was divine. We went to see people in amazing 18th century costumes play Vivaldi, but one of them was completely out of tune and rhythm and everything else that you can be out of, music wise. And the first violin kept showing off that he could play really fast but kept missing half the notes. Vivaldi = a baroque composer. A lot of notes is pretty much the point. Anyway, we were actually some of the better dressed "normal people" (a.i: other people who couldn't afford to spend four grand on a dress and another three on a ticket for one of the balls) and tourists took pictures of us, which was amusing as we were tourists as well. I wore my tophat, as usual. But we're going to a vintage valentines party tonight, I might wear a dress for that. Maybe. Oh, and guess what I bought in Venice? A Jacobean ruff. Silver. It is gorgeous.

Acquired some flatmates for next year! I don't know them very well, but that just adds to the excitement.

Contributed to this: Happy Valentines, Stephen!

Also, I've got a massive cold and stuff to do.

In Australia, small breasts are apparently going to be banned in porn because they turn the paedophiles' crank. Of course. That's why completely hairless women aren't allowed in porn, either. OH WAIT. THEY ARE. No pubic hair = child like. Small breasts? Women of all ages have small breasts. Thank you, Australia, for telling me that my body is too obscene to be shown in something that is already pretty damn obscene most of the time. What on earth is going to be banned next? Spanking? OH WAIT.

Seriously, Australia. Sort it out. I just read some of the government FAQ on internet censorship where they compare themselves with Scandinavian countries because we, too, target child pornography rings on the internet. Except the kind of porn you get arrested for up north IS ACTUAL CHILD PORN.

I'm unhappy and I don't know what to do about it. That's pretty much it.